A very gay man stopped us in the street on the way home from swimming this evening, to inform us, in a very dithery manner, that he had just been robbed. I don’t know whether it was his excessive gayness, or the aftershock, that cause him to be so vexed. When we asked him if we could help, he trotted off into the night, apologising.

I can only assume, if he were telling the truth, that the robbers were equally as confused, since they forgot to despoil our little homosexual friend of his plastic bag full of alcohol.