I walked into my local bank today to deposit some money into Jo’s account. Sitting down at the cashier’s desk I told the lady my wish, and that I had mistakenly forgotten to bring her account number with me, though I knew (most of) her ID number and other personal details. I was informed by the lady that she was unable to comply, since account numbers are sensitive things, and without one I could go and fuck myself there was little else to do than phone Jo to retrieve it.

My reply to this was that I could give the the cash, she could type it into the system without giving me a receipt (which shows the account number), and I would simply trust that she would not pocket the money to booze away that evening with her colleagues her. She explained once again that it is not possible to deposit any amount of money without the aforementioned account number, and that the company was very strict about protecting their customers (of which I am one).

A solution was quickly reached that I deposit the money into my account and thereafter transfer the necessary amount via the online service when I got home. Both parties appeared satisfied with this option, and I walked away a happy man.

Gone are the halcyon days of being able to walk into a bank and give them money. It would appear the only way they would accept currency was if I were to point a gun at someone, raise my voice in an aggressive way, and demand that I leave money in a bag on the desk. Oh, the irony of it.