We arose this morning to eat breakfast in time for the half-day excursion to The Great Wall we’d booked yesterday. As it’s early on in the tourist season we were the only ones who had booked, which meant a day with our personal guide, Peter.

Whilst Peter may not sound very Chinese, he assured us he was, unlike 90% of the tour guides in Beijing, born and raised in the city. He was able to talk in broken English about all manner of things on the way to The Wall. We covered Confucious and Chinese society.

To get a wife, one apparently needs the 3 A’s: account (bank), apartment and a car (well, it sounds better than the 2 A’s and a C, I suppose, even if it is stretching it a bit).

Things have really changed here. In the beginning of the 80s the three necessary household items were a TV, a washing machine and a sewing machine.

Our first stop, after listening to Peter talk freely (and a lot), was at a factory, where we were given a guided tour of a somewhat vulgar, dilapidated working areas, and thereafter ushered into the more modernized (and warmer) shop, which housed hundreds upon hundreds of purchasable pieces, ranging from 100 – 40000 crowns and upwards.

We settled for two very small monkeys and a rat (Freya’s/my and Jo’s Chinese signs respectively). It seemed impolite to do otherwise, since we were the only visitors there. They must do a fair amount of trade during the peak months, though.

Soon after we arrived at The Great Wall just in time for the fog to obscure distances of more than 50 metres. We were led past the now obligatory row of vendors that appear anywhere tourists do, to the cable car, which took us to the top of tower 14. From there we had a leisurely stroll to tower 19 and back.

The whole visit was, paradoxically, both interesting and quite dull. It was undeniably a lifetime experience being atop the battlements of the world’s longest wall, but (and especially due to the lack of view) it was just a wall. I know such an understatement should not be taken lightly, though the dampness of the wall gave off a pleasant smell, and we were pretty much alone there, so it was a peaceful, fragrant wall, if nothing else.

Having a few hours over, after descending the wall and making our way back to the minibus, Peter suggested we go to a natural medicine centre, to be given a foot massage and pulse reading. This is something I had never heard of, and is carried out with, not one but, three fingers resting on the wrist. With different pressure being applied from each of the digits, a diagnosis of the body’s main organs can be attained, and thus which medicine we should buy.

While all this sounds intriguing, the proof is in two puddings: Jo and me. To be suitably impressed I would require a reasonably accurate diagnosis for both of us. After the “Professor” had given us information about our problems (he tells us, not the other way round), along with leading questions which fitted our self-perceived problems well, we were extremely impressed.

There were problems that I have (stress, back problems, bad memory) that could have applied to anyone, but along with Jo’s diagnosis, they seemed uncannily near the mark. We went away happy, without buying any of the prescribed medicine (but who knows) and with happy feet (a minimum “tip” of 10 crowns/person was expected), to be taken to our last port of call, another veggie restaurant.

This restaurant was down a grubby side-road, and, although the facade looked nice, the inside was very pleasant. A buffet for 65 crowns/person was on offer, and since we had forgotten our vegan passport (a lifesaver) we did our best by cautiously tasting anything that looked potentialy non-vegan in our eyes and accepting any mistakes we made.

There were many, many interesting dishes to try, and only one or two items of confectionery tasted strange (though maybe still vegan). The majority of dishes were edible and very tasty. We have once again been surprised by the quality and diversity of tastes to be found in the Chinese cuisine.

That night ended by taking the subway home (3 crowns/ticket) and relaxing in bed with a few beers and two English TV channels, one of which being CNN.