Christmas Eve 2007

Christmas (meaning Santa) has come and gone, and I’m left with some fine memories and finer presents.

We’re at Mormor’s, as we usually are this time of year, with Christmas Eve really beginning in the afternoon. We went down to Auntie Bettan’s to eat dinner, watch the annual Disney Christmas program at 3 o’clock, and wait for the imminent arrival of Santa.

He came at 4 o’clock. He was a tad smaller than I remembered, being about Bettan’s height, though I was unable to compare them because of Bettan’s sudden absence. Santa was very nice, and I thanked him accordingly for each gift I received.

Not long after he departed, when Bettan had come back into the room, we made our way upstairs, and…more presents under our tree!

I was, of course, exulted at the sight, but smiles soon led to tears. You see, there was a definite unfair distribution of presents, as I was given one after another, and so I felt it only right to share my gifts – at least the unwrapping thereof – with my family. Mum, Dad, Mormor and Uncle Jeppa tried to convince me that they did not want to open my presents (madness, I say), and that they would have their own to unwrap. I was still unhappy, so much so that tears fell from my eyes and I became unwilling to open my mound of gifts.

Eventually my sadness subsided, and I began the gargantuan task of unclothing the assorted packages, revealing a multitude of toys and other useful items. Christmas, it seems, truly is a time for giving.

Believe It Or Not, It Is Still Important

I have a friend in England, Andy, whom I met in Luxembourg some ten years ago. We liked the same styles of dance music, and he was almost always at the same venues where I was DJing, enjoying the same tracks undoubtedly as much as I did. With such a common interest we became, paradoxically, the unlikeliest of friends. You see, Andy was – and still is – a true blue Tory, a self-centred capitalist. I mean this with no disrespect, and I am certain Andy would agree that my description of him is a fitting one.

We have had some interesting, sometimes heated, discussions about a fair number of subjects that we both feel passionately about, nearly always having opposite views. The discussion I remember most vividly was about the environment, Andy taking the stance that the man-made global warming threat is rubbish, that he did not believe it.

My mum doesn’t believe in Stonehenge, by the way. She revealed this perspective during our visit this July. It took a few seconds to register what she had said, a further few more to contrive a suitable reply, and will take a lifetime to cogitate the real meaning behind her statement, said in such a dismissive tone as to believe she was irritated by the mere idea that Stonehenge is.

Both Andy and my mum have notions that defy a great deal of information to the contrary, although if we’re taking bets on which of the statements is more likely to be true, I’d put my money on Andy. The difference in these bold statements is not one of veritableness, but the effect upon the world that they are conceived in.

My mother’s rejection of one of the world’s most well-known prehistoric monuments, while being irrefutably wrong, does not/ cannot change what is: Stonehenge will exist without her support, thank you very much. Even if a billion people refused to believe, Stonehenge would still stand; Andy, on the other hand, has a more serious issue to deal with. If he does not think mankind has an influence on the environment’s well-being, then he will continue along the yellow brick road of Capitalism. If a billion people are in agreement with Andy, then it’s goodbye Netherlands.

We all need to take a personal responsibility in this world, to minimize the chance of irreparable damage to the very thing that gives us life. Even if the chance is minimal, we must take any threat to our survival seriously. As is it, the threat seems very real, probably even more so than Stonehenge, which will survive longer than we will if we continue to ignore the threat. Sorry, Andy, but even if I’m wrong I’m right.

World Of Warcraft Sucks

JRR Tolkien infamously contemplating the Bilbo/Gandalf blow-job scene.

Lord of The Rings is, without question, the best ever film to date. Before I’d seen the first of the trilogy I was extremely guarded about Tolkien’s work, my many years of D&D giving me fond memories of his part in my fantasy worlds, even though I’d never managed to read more than half the trilogy. Despite this moment in celluloid magic, I feel (and I’m certain millions of other LoTR fans do, too) that Tolkien, and thus the film, failed in one specific area: no nob-in-fanny action.

Even World of Warcraft has inexplicably missed the boat, concentrating on Undead, Trolls, Orcs and Tauren, instead of aiming for the more profitable hard-core market.

An enterprising company has, however, seen the glaring opportunity to combining many a youth’s two favourite past-times, and given us a fantasy hard-core porn episod(om)ic series to download, for a price.

Whorelore
, previously named Whorecraft (how many Vivendi lawyers does it take to change a domain name?), has a reasonably professional website, which gives information about the series and its characters, a story (!), and even downloadable maps of the area in which the story (again, !) takes place.

Apart from cartographers or very poor people, I’m not sure who would want to download the map, as nice as it is. The first six episodes of the first season are available for $8 each, something which cartographers, at least, could afford. Poor people shouldn’t, theoretically, even be able to afford a computer or an Internet connection, but they wouldn’t be missing anything because they would be completely ignorant of Whorecraft. Everyone, except the poor, then, get something out of it, especially the female “actresses”.

Hattrick Press Release #12

Wolves Prepared For Sunday

Wolves fans showed displeasure today at Jon R, as he spoke candidly about the coming league match against The Goalmakers.

“We are not going to win, end of story; even coming away with a point will be a most unlikely scenario. I’d be happy if we scored a goal against what is a very strong side.”

“I am amazed at The Goalmakers current league position. I thought they would be in the running for promotion. Still, three points for them this Sunday may give them the boost they need.”

12th Level Elk Fooled By 30th Level Backpack

It’s not often, certainly not in the general media, that video games get seen in a positive light. It was nice, then, to see Swedish newspaper, Dagens Nyheter, report the recent elk attack on a 12-year old boy (there is a link here, just be a bit patient).

Hans Jørgen Olsen and his sister were out in the woods in the north of Norway, when an aggressive elk started to chase them. Hans’ sister ran, but plucky Hans tried to scare the animal without much success, as the elk continued the chase, eventually horning him in the backpack.

As the unfortunate, exhausted Hans lay there, probably thinking about the probability of such an event actually occurring, his mind turned to World Of Warcraft. Said Hans:

When you become level 30 you learn the skill “Feign Death”, so that’s what I did: lay down and played dead. After a little while the elk went away.

I wish I knew enough about WoW to make some witty comment here, since it’s begging for it, but I can’t. Damn my lack of time.