Those Who Can’t, Teach (If You’re Lucky)

My first proper day in school went somewhat askew today.

The first two lessons I spent in class 1. It should have been 2 x half-class English lessons, but I ended up waiting in the classroom for the arrival of pupils, who came in dribs and drabs. Eventually we had enough present to do something meaningful, but it was quite late, so I forewent the half-class scenario in favour of dishing out text- and workbooks to be monikered by the children.

All went well, and with the lesson finished I carried on my day. Not half an hour laterI was approached by class 2’s teacher, who had been wondering where I was for her English lesson. I had, I realised, spent one hour and twenty minutes with the wrong class, and had handed out the wrong books to the wrong children.

As it turns out this was not a completely idiotic mistake: both classes do have 2 x half-class English on Tuesdays; both teachers are new; I’ve never had English with either class before.

Slightly put out I went to class 4A later in the day, where I informed them of the regularity/importance of the weekly vocabulary test they are to receive. I told them that these words were not randomly picked from my (alcohol addled) brain, but were words they would meet again in the (definitely correctly assigned) texbook they had been given.

I calmly wrote the seven words on the whiteboard and sat down to wait for the class to complete the task of transfering them into their books, flicking through the textbook and looking authoritative. As I flicked, it gradually dawned on me that none of these words actually appeared in the very book I held in my hands: I had given them class 3’s words.

It was too late and too embarassing to admit my error, so I’ll just have to create some new activities that combine the material in the textbook plus the new words they had faithfully written into their brand spanking-new wordbooks.

Unlike today (six lessons in five hours), I only have three lessons tomorrow, so things surely cannot become as pear-shaped

More Reasons Why I Don’t Go Out Much Nowdays

Today has been a strange day, filled with enough events to make for an interesting night’s dreaming.

After my first day at school, with lots of children, parents, and coffee, the weather turned inclement: thunder and lightning like I’d never heard, along with a torrential downpour. I was almost a little scared, actually, since the thunder seemed permenantly near, and rumbled with a force that suggested it meant business.

Luckily, the rain ceased when I went to pick up Freya, and, after coming home for a short while, we made our way to swimming school. Whilst waiting for the bus I noticed the front wheel of the pushchair had got a puncture.

As we almost arrived at our destination, about five minutes walk away from the swimming pool, the bus made a left turn and side-swiped a car. We were forced to ascend and walk the last couple of hundred metres.

Coming to a junction, I saw a man lying on the ground, with what looked like medicine in his hand. I had neither the time nor the inclination to help the poor bugger, but there were two other people helping him with this predicament.

A few more yards further on, I passed a woman who had noticed a few small pools of blood (probably from medicine-man. She told me that she couldn’t help the old guy, and didn’t like the sight of blood because her husband had just been diagnosed as having a tumour, and that the worst bit was the uncertainty. I left her in almost in tears with a “terrible”, and a couple of “I understand”s. It all sounds a bit rubbish, but I really do not know what to say to complete strangers who share their heart-breaking stories with me.

It’s a good job Jo’s brother is going to give us a car: I don’t think I can stand any more of this public transport malarky.

Posted in Jon

The F-Word

Through vegan.nu Jo found a Chinese food-shop in town that apparently sells lots of interesting foodstuff to consume (a favourite past-time for us).

Although the shop is not much bigger than our bathroom, and filled with Asians (unlike our bathroom) there were more vegan goodies than you can shake a joss stick at.

We came away with drumsticks, pork-roll, shrimps, goose-roll, chicken breast and squid, along with the more usual tofu and veggie dumplings (a variety of our favourite dumpling from our favourite sushi restaurant, Helens).

So far we’ve tried the drumsticks, which are actually quite tasty, and have a bamboo bone for false authenticity. We both agreed that they’d work a treat BBQed, with an accompanying sauce.

This makes me more confident that the other unknowns in our freezer could turn out to be real finds (unlike the orange olives I once bought from a similar shop), though no amount of success will prepare me for the squid.

George Orwell would have gained far more kudos, and a few more laughs, which is sorely needed in his literature) if he’d instead written:

“two legs good, four legs bad, any number of tentacles emetic.”

Back To Work

I got my schedule for the next year yesterday, my first day back to school after having a year at home with Freya. I had no idea what to expect, though I had asked teach the older children as a preference. It turns out that I am one of three English teachers, and I’ve been “relegated” to teaching 6-10 year olds.

At first I felt a little disappointed, since I enjoy the more active English lessons where the children are trying to use their knowledge in ways I have not taught. With the younger ones I feel that my role is more an instructer rather than an informer, and my choice of words when trying to say things is naturally far more limited. Also, I’ll be unable to show Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings type films under the guise of classic British culture.

However, there is a bright side to all this, in that I shall have far less homework to deal with. Obligatory homework has always been something I have had an opinion about, knowing that the more talented/interested children are the ones that will do it anyway, whilst the less talanted/uninterested ones don’t. This leads to unnecessry stress on my part, since I really cannot be bothered to chase up the many who never hand in theirs. Now, though, I only have three classes to prepare for, allowing me a better opportunity to oversee the general situation.

I also feel a bit better prepared for teaching six year-olds, with a decent library of children’s songs, thanks to Freya. I have also ordered a fox hand-puppet, along with workbooks and a CD, which will undoubtedly make life a lot easier, and quite possibly more enjoyable for me.

Expect a picture of Freddy (I believe that is his name) and me soon.

Posted in Jon

The Reason Why I Don’t Go Out Much Nowdays

At the beginning of this week I received an email informing me that The Streets concert, which I had bought tickets for the day they were released, has been cancelled, due to the singer leaving the band. We were quite disappointed about this, this being one of the few bands we wish to see live.

Not to be too put off by ths news, we looked forward, instead, to a Linton Kwesi Johnson gig, tickets to which I got for Jo’s birthday. Unfortunately, we couldn’t get a babysitter in time, which meant that Jo and our friend Chris went instead, leaving me happily at home to take care of Freya.

I got a telephone call about an hour after Jo’s departure, informing me that the concert had changed date to next Sunday. This actually didn’t turn out as bad as it sounds, though, since Jo and I have time to get a babysitter sorted for that date, and Jo and Chris could spend all evening, until 4am, drinking Gin and Tonic.

Still undeterred, we went to town today to see James Hollingworth, a Swedish musician known from the 70’s for creating some absolute masterpieces. Anything that is entitled “The elk are demonstrating”, “I am a toothbrush”, and “Ebert” (with the immortal opening lyrics, “Hello, what’s your name? My name is Ebert and I’ve got a frog in my pocket”) deserves to been seen live, and we were looking forward to all three of us being entertained on this rainy afternoon.

Surprise, surprise: there was no concert. We had completely messed up the dates, and James was probably somewhere miles away drinking tea and eating dainty biscuits, because he is scheduled to play next weekend.

If I were to be pessimistic about the whole thing, I could add that our friends from London went back on Tuesday, Wolves lost 3-1 on Friday night, and I start work tomorrow (after a year of paternity leave), but I won’t.