Category Archives: Jon

He Probably Doesn’t Realise What A Marketing Dream He Is

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A superstar, even before he opens his mouth.

We’ve been listening to Matisyahu today, and I must say it is absolutely fantastic; I bet Sony thought exactly the same thing when he walked through their doors:

Matisyahu: Hi, I’m Matisyahu.
Sony: And what do you do?
M: I sing.
S: (Sony people inwardly shake their heads, wondering how they could make such a bad decision)
M: (Waits, smiling)
S : You sing the Klezmer?
M: Umm, no.
S: (Bowing to stereotypical behaviour) But…but your Jewish, right?
M: Yep. Orthadox, that’s me.
S: So if you don’t sing the Klezmer, what is it you DO sing?
M: Reggae.
S: ($$$$$$) Here, Matis, please wipe your feet on my face.

And this was probably before they heard his music. I’m not particularly keen on Reggae, but his stuff rocks.

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Engrish School Blues

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Freya is soon to take her first excursion into life without parents. In August she is to start pre-school, at the school we’d hoped – and almost didn’t get – she would be in.

Despite having put her name down soon after she was born, we received a letter a few months ago stating was no place for her.

Despondently, Jo put her name on the reserve list and, to our surprise, a vacancy became available. Our joy over this news comes from four reasons we wanted this placing:

1) Freya will get vegan food;
2) The school is bilingual;
3) The philosophy that guides the school is a more libertarian one;
4) It’s local.

We received a wad of papers when we attended the welcoming evening, in both Swedish and English. After reading through these many, many times, I do not know whether to laugh or cry: the English is appalling.

Here are some of the choice cuts (wrong spelling/grammar use underlined):

9.00 A shorter circle with some fruit

10.45 Circle time in responsible groups

17.30 The pre-school is closing

…your child and we…are going to experience exiting…things together.

…they are done to stimulate your childs’ language, give him/her a better understandig of it and to enrich his/hers vocabulary.

The children learn about themselfs.

Tag/label all the childrens’ clothes.

There are numerous other errors, though for the sake of preserving sanity I shall refrain from wasting valuable virtual space by including them.

I understand that these papers were translated by a Swede; one would think that a school that advertises its multi-lingual status would spend a little more time on first impressions.

Overall, though, I know Freya won’t suffer. The staff stick to their respective mother-tongues. I shall, however, be monitoring further communications with peeled eyes.

The Kind Of Winter I Enjoy Most

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Beware: Interactive images may seriously damage your social-life.

A belated “Congratulations!” to the most fantastical MMORPG, Neverwinter Nights, which celebrated its fourth birthday yesterday. I have spent many an evening sat firmly in front of the computer, with beer in hand (though not literally (well, some of the time)), crushing various demi-humans and such.

I particularly enjoy that it is based on Dungeons and Dragons, a game I began playing when I was fifteen. I am also grateful for the opportunity it has given me to play with, and thus get to know, Leigh loads better.

And so, I found out today that NWN2 is to be available at the end of September. My Christmas list is already extensive, and there are six months to go.

Toilet Humour

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Talking of urine, there’s an interesting article over at Games for Wii.

The Wii is Nintendo’s next ground-breaking console, due not soon enough as far as I’m concerned. As soon as I heard the name, it made me think, quite naturally, of toilets; it appears am not alone:

“We have received over 200,000 e-mails with complaints about the Wii, and the console name has been commonly associated with urine. We have been the target of many jokes, and we strongly believe that it’s a bad thing for the company’s reputation”, says Mike, who works at the marketing department of Nintendo.

No idea how true this is, since Mike has no surname, but I want to believe it so much.

To Wee Or Not To Wee

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Friend to some

I have a problem when I wee. It’s embarrassing; the doctor would surely laugh me out of the surgery. I know that, as age becomes a more significant role in one’s life, the signs start to reveal themselves in unwanted ways, but I’m sure I’m unique in this particular problem; this makes it all the more difficult to accept.

You see, it’s like this: I flush the toilet before I finish weeing.

This is not an isolated case. I don’t remember when I received this urinal malfunction, but even though I am aware of its presence, I am unable to stop the process.

There is no apparant reason for my newfound habit, either. It’s not like I gain any time by flushing premeturely, since I still have to wait before I’ve finished urinating, however early I push the button. In fact, the only side-effect is negative: I have to flush a second time, which consumes more water – water that could be used by some poor Egyptian kid, who, because of my inability to control myself, has to walk 150 miles just to drink the scum that is known as the Nile.

So, I feel alienated, and do not know to whom I should turn. I feel like I shall carry this affliction for the rest of my life, which I’m beginning to hope is a short one.

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